Thursday, February 12, 2009

A day of angst

I'm so glad that my son is only 5. Right now he doesn't know what it's like to not receive a Valentines from someone he really likes. It's coming though. Today is his first Valentines party at preschool. I recall the angst of not getting a card in the box I had made from that cute little boy 3 rows over sitting by the coat rack. Or those girls that I so wanted to be friends with but who shunned me because....well I'll never know the exact reason.

It's things like this that I would love to protect my son from. Then I wonder why I feel that way. I'm fine, I made it through and only have a small fraction of scars on my soul from it. I think we tend to coddle our children too much. I believe they should learn from rejection and loss. Sure I don't want him hurt in any way, but that's inevitable and I'll try to be realistic about it.

More angst for me though. I'm waiting to see if I'm the winning bidder on a camera that I've fallen in love with. Only 1hr and 40 minutes left.....arrggghh.

Then this morning I'll be driving my mother to her sister's house in Portland so they can be together at the hospital when my uncle (their brother) goes in for open-heart surgery. It's going to be okay.....it's got to be okay. Last year mom lost a brother, sister in-law (wife of the brother who's having surgery) and an aunt. Not a great year for her.

So I sit here anxiously waiting for the auction to end so I can either be giddy with anticipation for being the proud owner of said camera OR sad because I'll have to go on the hunt again........I digress.....I need more coffee!

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